Rove's Brilliant Plan

This is good. Read the whole thing here:

Rove: And now it is time. Time to unveil our most hideous, most perfect plan. (Rove grips the briefcase with both hands) Do you people truly know of the evil that man can attain? Do you know of the Dark Lord’s majesty? Do you know of a terror so sublime that any lesser atrocity—Salem; the Holocaust; our coming assassination and cannibalism of the Pope—will from this point on make you giggle like little girls? Behold!

(Rove removes from the briefcase several sheets of paper. He studies them intently; every eye in the room is trained upon him. Finally, Rove speaks...)

Rove: This is the frickin’ Doomsday Device? A bunch of bogus National Guard memos? What the hell?

Clarence Thomas: Well, what we thought we’d do, see, was hand these over to the media and ...

Rove: Oh, come on! These are dated 1972 but they’re in Microsoft Word! Hellloooo! You think anybody in their right mind will fall for these? Oh, look here; you haven’t even changed the default settings! Why, I could type these up at home!

Ann Coulter: With respect, sir, the plan was to ...

Rove: Plan? Plan? Listen, legs, this plan wouldn’t fool a Kennedy! Or a crack-addicted homeless person! This so-called plan wouldn’t rate a segment on Air America! This plan I’m looking at wouldn’t be posted at Democratic goddamn Underground! This half-assed, retard plan isn’t worth the ...

Hugh Hewitt: Actually, we were thinking of giving the memos to Dan Rather.

Rove: Proceed.

How Red is the "Blue" Party?

For those of you that always thought the Democrats were in bed with the commies. Looks like it’s true.

Peter Schweizer, a Hoover Institution research fellow, has just written a new book, "Reagan's War: The Epic Story of His Forty-Year Struggle and Final Triumph Over
Communism."

Schweizer, after scouring once-classified KGB, East German Stasi and Soviet Communist Party files, discovered incontrovertible evidence that the Soviets not only played footsie with high-ranking Democrats they also worked behind the scenes to influence American elections.
…
Soviet diplomatic accounts and material from the archives show that in January 1984 former President Jimmy Carter dropped by Soviet Ambassador Anatoly
Dobrynin's residence for a private meeting.

Carter expressed his concern about and opposition to Reagan's defense buildup. He boldly told Dobrynin that Moscow would be better off with someone else in the White House. If Reagan won, he warned, "There would not be a single agreement on arms control, especially on nuclear arms, as long as Reagan remained in power."
…
Schweizer reveals Russian documents that show that in the waning days of the 1980 campaign, the Carter White House dispatched businessman Armand Hammer to the Soviet Embassy.

Hammer was a longtime Soviet-phile, and he explained to the Soviet ambassador that Carter was "clearly alarmed" at the prospect of losing to Reagan.

Hammer pleaded with the Russians for help. He asked if the Kremlin could expand Jewish emigration to bolster Carter's standing in the polls.

"Carter won't forget that service if he is elected," Hammer told Dobrynin.

Carter was not the only Democrat to make clear to the Russians where their loyalty lay. As the election neared in 1984, Dobrynin recalls meetings with Speaker of the House Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill.

O'Neill told Dobrynin that no effort should be spared to prevent "that demagogue Reagan" from being re-elected.

Too bad there aren’t as many commies as their used to be. Looks like liberals will have to settle for hugging a terrorist.

When Liberals Attack Part II, or Dammit Jim! I’m a Doctor, not the DNC Chariman

Yesterday, Howard Dean debated Richard Perle on American foreign policy, National security, the Iraq War, and whether Folger’s Crystals tastes more like fresh brewed coffee.

Perle is a bright, well-spoken, experienced conservative foreign policy expert, and Howard Dean is … well, Howard Dean.

The debate began with a spectator throwing his shoe at Perle (Honestly, who throws a shoe?) Fortunately, as with most activists, he threw like a girl and couldn’t even clear the front of the stage, even though he was about 10 ft from Perle (video here). Which pretty much doesn’t matter since he was probably throwing a sandal anyway.

During the debate Dean clarified the DNC’s position on National Security, “Defense is a lot broader than swaggering around saying you’re going to kick Saddam’s butt.”

This guy is going to bring the American Democratic Party the credibility it needs!

When Liberals Attack

When 30 some Greenpeace protestors attempted to storm the trading floor of London’s International Petroleum Exchange (IPE), they were met with a collective can of whoop ass at the door.

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

Greenpeace had hoped to paralyze oil trading at the exchange in the City near Tower Bridge on the day that the Kyoto Protocol came into force. “The Kyoto Protocol has modest aims to improve the climate and we need huge aims,” a spokesman said.

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan. “The violence was instant,” Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said.

“They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.” When a trader left the building shortly before 2pm, using a security swipe card, a protester dropped some coins on the floor and, as he bent down to pick them up, put his boot in the door to keep it open.

Two minutes later, three Greenpeace vans pulled up and another 30 protesters leapt out and were let in by the others.

They made their way to the trading floor, blowing whistles and sounding fog horns, encountering little resistance from security guards. Rape alarms were tied to helium balloons to float to the ceiling and create noise out of reach. The IPE conducts “open outcry” trading where deals are shouted across the pit. By making so much noise, the protesters hoped to paralyse trading.

But they were set upon by traders, most of whom were under the age of 25. “They were kicking and punching men and women indiscriminately,” a photographer said. “It was really ugly, but Greenpeace did not fight back.”

Mr Beresford said: “They followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement.”

In related news, anther 20 Greenpeace activists were injured after chaining themselves to an salad bar in an Alabama nursing home while protesting the serving of Mrs. Paul’s Fish Sticks. Faced with the prospect of leftover Salisbury Steak, elderly residents beat the protestors with walkers, canes and Metamucil bottles.

Liberals 1 : Conservatives 246,387

Score one for the Liberals. They out a Conservative journalist. Of course if you put a thousand monkeys in a room, they’ll eventually write The Grapes of Wrath. Ok, maybe not the Grapes of Wrath, but definitely a CNN piece.

Jeff Gannon had been under scrutiny since asking Bush at a press conference last month how he could work with Senate Democratic leaders "who seem to have divorced themselves from reality."

Seems like a respectable question to me, but recall that I told you that sort of Common Sense has no business in American media, and he would never make it very far as a mainstream journalist.

This is what the left has to say about it:

Jim Manley, a spokesman for Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), welcomed the news. In his question at the presidential news conference, Gannon had said that in an effort to disparage the U.S. economy "Harry Reid was talking about soup lines," which is not accurate and which Gannon later acknowledged was a characterization he picked up from Rush Limbaugh."

New media or old media, the fact is the question he asked was based on a lie, and that's unacceptable," Manley said. "Fundamentally, what he was reporting was not truthful."

The media not reporting the truth? Well I’ve never.

The Media Ain't Got No Manhood Left

This is a bit of old news, but I gotta speak up:

Marine Lieutenant General and outstanding American citizen James Mattis, recently made comments at a San Diego forum that has the military-hating, US-bashing, self-righteous American left media’s panties in a wad.

He said, “Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. . . . It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling."

"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," he added. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

Having been a soldier myself, let me explain how the military works. An Infantryman’s, and in particular a Marine’s job is to kill people and break things. General Patton said it best, "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." Or at least that’s how George C. Scott played it.

Apparently some of the left of the US would prefer a kinder more sensitive military. Even the Russians got it figured out:

What do liberals think Marines are doing in Iraq, handing out condoms to AIDS patients? Would liberals rather General Mattis had said, "I hate to fight. I think war is much too bloody. I think we should stay home and polish our nails and listen to show tunes."

Somehow, I think liberals would.

Liberals, especially young liberals seem to forget that war is a very nasty thing. It is not a panty raid on a women’s dormitory at a local college or a beer chugging contest at an off campus bar. In battle, the enemy has one thing in mind, he wants to kill. War is a contest of kill, or be killed and it is not nice.

Thank you again to the American media for aiding and abetting the enemy.

Get out of your coffee houses. Turn off Oprah. Wake up.

Mark Your Calendars

March 13-19 is Sunshine Week and the Burque Boy is as giddy as a schoolgirl. It’s a time when Big Media journalists come together hold hands, gossip about boys, braid each other’s hair, a whine about how irrelevant they've become.

According to the official press release:

Journalism organizations are planning a nationwide campaign to press for government access, which they say is being denied more often by officials who claim post-Sept 11 security concerns warrant keeping information secret.

For a week beginning March 13, news outlets will run stories, editorials and cartoons on the subject. The effort announced Tuesday has been dubbed "Sunshine Week.""From city hall to Congress, and from police chiefs' offices to the attorney general's office, the trend toward secrecy is unmistakable," said Tom Curley, president and CEO of The Associated Press.

"The most important thing from our standpoint, of course, is to connect what we do to the public interest, and to line up with the people and remind them how important it is that they get access to what their elected representatives are doing," he said.

Well at least he admits that media is not connected to the public's interest. So let me get this straight: At a time when Big Media has been accused of bias, aiding and abetting the enemy and all around deceitfulness, they want the be to ones to hold the Government accountable. So if they are watching the Government, who is watching them? Oh yeah, that’s right...

Sharpton Takes the Bait

Sean Hannity lures the Reverend Al into dissing liberal Teflon boy, Bill Clinton:

HANNITY: Hey, the president said tonight, for our children, that there's a looming crisis, Reverend Al, on Social Security. He said, if we don't deal with it now, it'll affect the next generation of baby boomers, whether or not they'll have enough money to live on and retire. It'll burden their children, burden their children's children. And he says, in 2023, two people will be working for every one person drawing Social Security.

SHARPTON: So that's why we should outsource jobs? That's why we should give tax cuts?

HANNITY: Is the president wrong?

SHARPTON: Yes. Not only is he wrong, his general economic policies would guarantee a burden on those...

HANNITY: But those statements about Social Security are wrong?

SHARPTON: I believe those statements are wrong. I believe, as just said to Newt Gingrich by Alan here, that clearly that is not backed up by impartial, nonpartisan agencies.

HANNITY: You're not going to like what I have to tell you.

SHARPTON: Of course I won't.

HANNITY: You want to know why?

SHARPTON: Of course I won't.

HANNITY: Those statements that I just read to you were Bill Clinton's statements when he was president.

SHARPTON: [Reverend in the headlights look]

The Pats Do It Again

What a great year for Massachusetts. The Patriots win their third Super Bowl, the Red Sox break the curse of the Bambino and even the Celtics are leading the Atlantic Division. It looks like the only loser from Boston is John Kerry.

Social Security, Iraq and Mr. Peabody

The Democrats have come up with an ingenious strategy to win the hearts and minds of the American voter - Following the example of their lapdog 2004 presidential candidate, their plan is to (a) not have a plan, and by (b) not having a plan, they are pretty much relegated to do nothing more than opposing all things Republican

Below are just a few excerpts from the post-State of the Union whining:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Congressional Democrats hit President Bush on Wednesday for his Iraq policies and planned Social Security overhaul, hoping a vigorous response to his State of the Union speech will fuel a turnabout from their election setbacks last fall.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, who shared the response with Pelosi, said Bush's Social Security plans sound more like "Social Security roulette" than reform.

For those of you who missed his subtle joke, the good Senator Reid is from Las Vegas. Get it? Yeah, me neither.

Even so, Democrats were volunteering few detailed alternatives to Bush proposals. Reid told reporters that without a specific White House blueprint for overhauling Social Security, he saw no need for Democrats to offer "a counterplan to nothing."

Of course, some of Mr. Reid’s counterparts disagree:

Even stalwart Democrats agree that Social Security needs changes to be able to continue to provide for retirees in the middle of this century. However, all sides have different beliefs on what those changes should be.

"What we need to do is make sure there's enough money in the Social Security trust fund without increasing the risk to maintain the guaranteed benefits," Corzine told FOX News. "I believe in people investing. We have to increase investment in the United States. I just don't think we ought to be increasing risk in Social Security."

Apparantly what I need to do is make sure that I have absolutely no dependence on social Security or any government service when I retire.

The man whom Bush defeated last November, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., took on the president as well. He said, "Every American deserves a real plan to improve retirement security - not weaken it," and said Bush must do more to unite Iraqis aand persuade other nations to help train an Iraqi security force.

But wait, I though Mr. Kerry had a secret plan to end the war… or wait, maybe that was Nixon. Sherman, set the way back machine to August 1st:

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Let me give you a crack at this, but in a slightly different angle. Going forward, Senator Kerry said on Thursday night, I know what we need to do in Iraq, but there weren't a lot of specifics there. Specifically, be as specific as you can, what are the differences between your approach and President Bush in Iraq going forward?

SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS: Well, the first and I think probably the single most important is with a fresh president, with a new president, we have the credibility to go to friends around the world, potential friends, to NATO, for example, and get them involved in helping provide security.

STEPHANOPOULOS: NATO is involved now.

EDWARDS: [Gives the Senator in the headlights look]

STEPHANOPOULOS: But how do you do it?

EDWARDS: [Mumbling] Uh, oh! Fifteen minute to Wapner.

SENATOR JOHN F. KERRY: I agree with everything John just said, and I would add to it. I've been involved in this for a long time, longer than George Bush. I've spent 20 years negotiating, working, fighting for different kinds of treaties and different relationships around the world. I know that as president there's huge leverage that will be available to me, enormous cards to play, and I'm not going to play them in public, George. I'm not going to play them before I'm president.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So we're not going to see ...

KERRY: But I have the ability, I have the ability to sit down with leaders that I know. I know President Mubarak. I know Crown Prince Abdullah. I know King Abdullah, we’ve wind surfed together. I've been there to those regions, and I believe there are many cards we have available to us that haven't even been put on the table by this administration.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But, Senator, forgive me. That sounds like the famous old Nixon secret plan.

KERRY: I am not a crook... er, I mean I don't care what it sounds like. It's truth. I don't care what it sounds like. It’s the truth. I don’t care what it…

EDWARDS: [Takes Kerry aside and replaces his batteries]

Bill Moyers Puts the "Fun" in Fundamentalism

No longer financed by taxpayer dollars, Liberal blowhorn Bill Moyers is off his medication again:

One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress.

And I always thought the delusional stuck to journalism. He accuses the government of, get this... being religious:

Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts.

Oh curse those religious wackos! Not only are they going to destroy the environment...

So what does this mean for public policy and the environment? Go to Grist to read a remarkable work of reporting by the journalist Glenn Scherer -- "The Road to Environmental Apocalypse." Read it and you will see how millions of Christian fundamentalists may believe that environmental destruction is not only to be disregarded but actually welcomed -- even hastened -- as a sign of the coming
apocalypse.

But also kill poor people...

I read the news just this week and learned how the Environmental Protection Agency had planned to spend $9 million -- $2 million of it from the administration's friends at the American Chemistry Council -- to pay poor families to continue to use pesticides in their homes. These pesticides have been linked to neurological damage in children, but instead of ordering an end to their use, the government and the industry were going to offer the families $970 each, as well as a camcorder and children's clothing, to serve as guinea pigs for the study.

Ooh a camcorder! Where do I sign up? And where does Moy-yo get these outlandish accusations?

I read all this in the news.

Phew! For a second, I thought he was actually going to cite a reliable source.

News Flash: Iraqi Militants take Toy Hostage

Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement Tuesday to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners.

The posting, on a Web site that frequently carried militants' statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless.

Oddly the figure looks remarkably like a "Special Ops" action figure.

In related news..

Vindication

John Podhoretz calls it like he sees it:

When you heard about the stunning success of the Iraqi elections, were you thrilled? Did you see it as a triumph for democracy and for the armed forces of the United States that have sacrificed and suffered and fought so valiantly over the past 18 months to get Iraq to this moment? Or did you momentarily feel an onrush of disappointment because you knew, you just knew, that this was going to redound to the credit of George W. Bush?

There are literally millions of Americans who are unhappy today because millions of Iraqis went to the polls yesterday. And why? Because this isn't just a success for Bush. It's a huge win. It's a colossal vindication.

It's a big fat gigantic winning vindication of the guy that the Moores and Kennedys and millions of others still can't believe anybody voted for.

And they know it.

And it's killing them.

Losers.