Vote Early, Vote Often

USATODAY reports that early voters in Florida lean towards Kerry.

Many Florida voters took advantage of early voting, including Dick Tracy, Mary Poppins and Ritchie Cunningham. Cunningham is a 20 year-old first-time voter and staunch Democrat. “With the polls opening on the 18th in Broward County, I still had plenty of time vote in Palm Beach, Miami-Dade, and Martin,” says Cunningham. “The following week I also hit Brevard, St Lucie and Okeechobee.”

Attorney Frank Staph, one of the thousands of lawyers hired by the Kerry campaign commented, “Isn’t it great to see the youth of America this excited about voting.”

And the enthusiasm is not just limited to the young. Mrs. Greta Richards, an 80 year-old Bush supporter, also took advantage of the early poll openings. Unfortunately Mrs. Richards was jumped by a group of individuals organizing a Teamsters rally nearby. “I don’t know what happened,” says Richards. “I was walking to the voter booth when someone sucker punched me and ran off with my walker.”

Luckily 3 dozen lawyers came to her rescue. “Next thing you know I had 30 lawyers giving me their business cards,” she recounted. “And that Mr. Staph is such a nice man. Since I wasn’t able to make it to the voting booth, he offered to place my vote for me. Such a thoughtful gesture.”